9th september; the next couple of months are going to decide the person I'm going to be for the rest of my life, or so it seems.

There's tremendous pressure from all quarters of my present social circle...
Mom n Dad says if you don't get in St. Stephen's, there's no other way out for you. My teachers have given up hope on me, someone actually told my mom that it's too late for me to start studying.

Once you do something good, you unknowingly raise the expectations of the people around you too high. Not that I'm not capable of scoring a 94% in my boards; the point is, what's the point?
Haha...

What's the use of having a moderately good SAT score and a greater than moderate TOEFL score if I don't score high enough in my boards to get that scholarship I need: to study economics in Singapore?

Shrimoyee's scared of the possibility of me moving out of the country, so am I. But when you bury your fears in your heart for too long, things like these don't matter anymore. You just flow with the tide.

It's been a long time since I last reflected on my person. It's not something I'm very good at anymore, leading alternate lives throughout the day. So much of pretension ought to leave some mark behind. So basically I'm half the person I used to be.

Everytime you let yourself loose for a couple of days, life hits you back with such vengeance and ferocity, that it is probably difficult to find solid ground beneath your feet then.

I feel like blabbering on, but I just realised I have to study now.

Baraka

Daybreak at Baraka
is the queerest sight I have ever seen,
as the skies blush
reddish in perspiration
from the passionate struggle between night and day.

Lending my ear to the fierce winds
I could almost hear primitive tribal chants
coming from far away,
celebrating the birth of light.

And as the womb of the sky
opened like lotus petals
I stood in praise of that ancient love:
the silent plea of the conquered
and the resolute reserve of the conqueror.

The wind silently screamed
"Thank you our lord
for blessing us with light, love and life"